What Binds the Soul
by SniperCT
Summary: It started on Yamatai, and continues to haunt Sam and Lara. Himiko stirs inside of Sam and Lara searches for more answers to the questions posed by her growing collection of powerful artifacts. Can she shake the legacy of her father and create her own? And what happens if all that power gets unleashed at once? Conclusion to the story of In This Together, Lessons and Scars!
1. The Girl Who Asked For A Star

**Prologue**

**Sam's Journal**

**April 3rd**

_Lara looked so hot at the wedding and I forgot how to brain until we were supposed to say our vows. I'm pretty sure I stumbled through them but Lara's eyes were like this beacon. A lighthouse helping me through the jumble of emotions that was overwhelming me. She was the best thing of the day. But mom and dad being there was a close second because I never in all my life thought I'd see them there. I still don't know if they approve. I know Lara's talked to them, but I can't imagine what she said. They haven't made up for years of neglect but they're trying and that's better than nothing. I'm not sure dad approves. But he was there. He gave me away. Might be the only time he ever did anything right for me._

**April 5th**

_She's waiting. I can feel her in the back of my mind. Himiko is patient. She's already waited a thousand years, she can wait a little longer. I can't tell Lara. Not now, especially not now. I probably shouldn't have picked Japan for a honeymoon but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. But right now, I can't sleep. If I sleep, she'll try to claw out and take over again. I told Lara I have control over this but now I'm scared. What happens to me if Himiko wins? What happens to Lara?_

**1 - The Girl Who Asked for a Star**

Like I promised Lara, our honeymoon is chosen to appeal to both of us. A lot of our interests cross over, but I definitely like dancing and clubbing more than she does. She still lets me drag her out and we have a good time, so I dutifully follow her around to really old places and museums. Not that I don't enjoy it. She's the one that sparked my interest in ancient things, especially my own culture. I would be a pretty shallow person without her, and if you ask certain people I still am, but they don't matter. Lara matters.

So. I picked Japan, which is an odd choice considering how things were the last time we were here, but it's kind of a gigantic fuck you to all of that.

Two whole weeks and I reserve the first three days for Tokyo. You'd need three thousand days to really see all of that city, but we'll have to make do in three. There's a lot for us to see. Lara drags me around to a half-dozen shrines and museums on the first day alone, and at night we dance and carry on and drink a little too much. We get back to the hotel really late. She even picks me up and carries me in, but we don't sleep. Oh my god we don't sleep.

And I'm exhausted and a little bit tipsy but it's our wedding night. It feels like the first time again. A little clumsy and lots of giggling. Our scars tell the story of how we lost our innocence. Lara more so than me. But for a night we act like we're still innocent and I even feel it. Young and stupid and in love.

The next two days are pretty much the same only by now the tabloids are on to us and we have to dodge them. The daughter of a Japanese media mogul and the famous (or infamous if you ask certain people) Lara Croft lesbianing it up. On a _honeymoon_. Oh the humanity! A couple of Japanese talk shows tried to book us but we're not going to do publicity on our honeymoon. Lara was relieved when I turned them down. I want her to myself and I have every right to it. She says there's a Damocles sword hanging over our heads but we can't let that get to us. We earned a respite from the world that lays hidden beneath the cynical lens of modern life. I totally use that line in our vacation footage, too.

Our fourth day we're up early because we want to sneak out before we're noticed. It's easier said than done but this is Lara Croft and she's kind of like a ninja. She makes me wait upstairs while she carries our luggage down to the car we rented, and then I expect her to carry me down too but she disappoints me. I even pout at her the whole way to the car and she just rolls her eyes at me. As revenge, I stomp as I follow her and by the time we're there she's trying not to laugh. She pins me against the car door and I grin into her eyes. "You should have carried me. We would have been a lot quieter."

"Is that why you were stomping around like Godzilla?" Her hand presses against my cheek and I nuzzle it. It's times like these when the rest of the world falls away. I like these feelings. They're not as fleeting as I was always scared they would be. When I'm the center of her world and she looks at me with hungry adoration.

My grin probably turns cheeky. "Yes." I rest my left hand against her chest. Her jade pendant dangles from a leather thong around her neck and she's hung her wedding ring there as well. I'm not bothered by it. A ring can get in the way for someone whose career will be spent digging and climbing. The ring and band on my finger glitter and I giggle to myself before she quiets me with her lips.

"Where to next, Sam?"

I have a surprise for our fourth night. We aren't going to leave Tokyo just yet. Lara of course suspects nothing as I help her navigate through the traffic. The closer we get the more giddy I feel and I have a hard time not bouncing in my seat. Lara eyes me without moving her head from the road and I can picture the gears in her head turning as she tries to figure out what I'm up to. We park and then get out. I grin at her over the roof of the car. "We'll just need our backpacks and a change of clothing. And the special bag."

She blushes at the mention of the 'special' bag, but grabs it anyway. It isn't until we're in the lobby that she realizes what this place is. Lara freezes, looking around, alarm on her face. She grabs my arm and hisses, "Sam! do you know what this place _is?!_"

I glance at her. She looks like she wants to melt into the floor and fidgets nervously as I unlatch her fingers from my arm. It's like we just walked into some forbidden vault filled with horrors of the most obscene sort. Which is sorta kinda true. I kiss her fingers. "Of course, sweetie. I booked us a whole night in a love hotel. Now, do you want the Magical Girl room or should we get the Moon Fantasia room?"

And then, just to sweeten the pot, I whisper into her ear, "I brought a school girl costume."

We wind up with the Magical Girl room. Except for temporarily losing the keys to the handcuffs the night is really amazing. Lara looks relieved when we leave the next morning, though, because she floors it to get away from that hotel. I take her hand in the car and smirk to myself. She probably thinks I'm being smug. She's right.

It takes forever to get out of the city but I occupy myself with my camera and keep up a running commentary of the the scenery we pass. Lara only gets a vague set of directions. I want her to be surprised when we pull up to the ryokan I'd reserved a room in. It's supposed to be really beautiful and we're in cherry blossom season, too. It's not entirely accidental timing, I had really wanted this time of year just for that and Lara probably guessed the destination. If she did, she never let on. I think it's romantic and I just hope that my wife feels the same way. Not that I'll ever get used to saying that or thinking that. I'm not sure I want to. Wife. It feels special. Special and awesome.

She needs to be distracted a lot. Not all the time and not too much, I think. But after we got back from Egypt and had some time to decompress I realized that she was getting sucked into this artifact thing, and I was going to lose her if I didn't pull her head out of it and force her to look at the rest of the world. She wants to find a way to save me again. Either from Yamatai and Himiko and the power the Queen left inside me or from the artifacts we've been hunting. It doesn't really matter. I don't need her to save me, I just need her to love me. Love isn't always enough, it can't feed you or anything but it can turn a shitty day into something magical.

Lara's mouth is hanging open as we get out of the car. Seeing the blossoms in pictures is really different than seeing them in person and we've never been to Japan during the right season before. They're all around us, gloriously and unashamedly pink. I find a handful of fallen petals and start placing them into Lara's hair.

"This is beautiful." She tucks a petal behind my ear. Our hands find each other and our fingers thread together. It's a familiar instinctual motion, by now. Thoughts about artifacts fade away, and Himiko is distant and forgotten.

Our room has a view down into a valley. There's a river or stream that meanders around and I just know we'll end up hiking along it. I can see the gleam in Lara's eyes at the idea of discovery. Maybe discovered by other people before but still new to her. I love that about her. As much as she's about discovering things no one has ever seen before, she still wants to experience things new to _her_. Regardless of how many people might have gone to see where that stream leads.

We're going to be here four days before moving further into the country, so I unpack and get everything neat and settled. I'm starving, too, but Lara suddenly drags me out of our room and onto a little trail that leads down into the valley. "Lara! I'm hungry. Can we eat first?"

She hands me an energy bar and I just look at her. "Yeah, like granola is romantic." She glances back at me and gives me this sheepish look so I forgive her. I won't let her forget this later, but I forgive her.

It's mid-afternoon and there's a light breeze rustling all the blossoms as we walk hand in hand upstream. The stream is bigger than it looks from a distance, about ten feet from one side to the other and a couple of feet deep. Not really a river, but definitely not a brook. There's a bridge, and we stop on it, leaning on a railing just letting the peace wash over us. I'm a city girl. I'll always be one, but right now I don't want to go anywhere. My eyes are closed, and the sound of the water and the breeze in the petals around us is the only thing I can hear.

Lara is next to me. She's a warm, steady presence. This place is probably fascinating to her. The ryokan is hundreds of years old and the history in this valley probably stretches back farther than that. Yet when I open my eyes, Lara is looking at me. Not the vista, or the sky or the river under our feet. A bolt runs down my spine and my stomach grows warm. "Hi?"

My wife has a smile for a variety of occasions and right now she has the dorky one. It's a little goofy and innocent and entirely one-hundred percent genuine. It's her 'I love you Sam' smile. I used to wonder what it meant. Now I know, and I love it even more.

"If you're still hungry we should head back," Lara says. I nearly miss it because I'm distracted by a wisp of hair that's fallen across her face.

"I'm thinking I want dessert first." The thought of us sprawled out in a bed of cherry blossoms bounces around my mind. I want the idea so badly that I tug on her hand. "It would be really romantic." I kind of try to hint with a nod of my head away from the bridge and towards the trees.

I'm so dumbfounded when she says 'okay' that I let her lead me off the bridge. We get cherry blossoms in hard to explain places but it's memorable.

Dinner that night is traditional. I haven't had a traditional Japanese dinner in about twelve years. My dad was always too busy so it was a rare and usually bittersweet occasion for me. My feelings for him might have softened but it takes an understanding look from Lara before I can relax.

Our host is this elderly woman named Natsumi Kimura. She looks every one of her ninety years. Her face is wrinkled and craggy, topped by a snowcap of pure white hair. It's unruly, going in every which direction, as though she decided she was too old to care what anyone thought about her hair. She grew up here, and she has a hundred stories about the weird and sometimes wild things she's seen. Lara is a little enraptured by Ms. Kimura. I'm just happy she doesn't want to throw us out for being a couple. Maybe it's the fact that Lara's Japanese is good enough to spare the poor woman from trying to speak in English.

The most interesting story she tells is a very personal one. There's a lot of emotion in her face. It's a happy memory, but I can hear a note of bittersweet behind it.

It happened about seventy-five years ago. She was just a teenager, living here with her sister Nanako and their best friend. The _pain_ in her voice when she says the girl's name breaks my heart. _Setsuko_. Lara catches my eye and we share a glance before giving Ms. Kimura our full attention.

The three used to sit on the roof and watch the stars. They were close. As close as Lara and me, and did just about everything together. Ms. Kimura tells us about a time that they tricked the village boys into thinking there was a forest spirit on the loose. The boys came back with a dozen different captured 'spirits' but night after night, the spirit struck. The spirit disappeared when the girls got bored with the game.

Our hostess sobers up a little, and rests her palms on the table. Her voice sounds as old as the rest of her, and much more frail than it had just moments ago. It's probably a little harder for Lara to follow the language. "I was sixteen and promised to a boy. Setsuko crawled into my bed one night. We did this often. We were young and she was like a sister. But her face...oh she looked so _anguished_. I asked her 'What is wrong?' and she asked me 'What could I do to make you love me the way I love you.' I was...stunned. I searched her face for the joke or the mockery. We were girls. We were friends. You just didn't _love_ your friend that way. But her heartbreak was sincere, and I just did not know if I felt the same way."

The old woman swallows, dabbing at her eyes with a cloth. She's not the only one. I wipe my own with the back of my hand. Lara is stoic next to me. We both understand that fear of rejection that Setsuko must have felt.

"But I thought…I thought that perhaps she was joking, so I gave her an impossible task. I told her I wanted one of the stars we spent so much time admiring. And part of me wondered if I could love her if she succeeded."

Lara grips my hand under the table so tightly it hurts, but I don't say anything about it. Ms. Kiruma continues, after another moment to compose herself. Her voice wavers and if I didn't want to hear the rest of this so badly I would make her stop. "She looked so determined, my Setsuko. She kissed me. Just the barest of touches, a whispered promise. My first kiss. My sweetest kiss. " Her voice starts to give, and she makes a little choked sound. I open my mouth to ask if she's okay but she waves her hand. "I must finish. I must. When I woke, she was gone, and the bed was cold beside me. I could not _find_ her. I searched, and I searched. It had snowed overnight, but I found her footprints and I followed them. I followed them to the stream, and I found her on the bridge."

Her voice finally breaks, "And she was as pale as the snow she lay in, as the snow she was named for. She was _gone_ and I _loved_ her. She was gone because I had sent her away, because I had been _afraid_. She was gone, she _is_ gone….because of me."

I get up and step around the table, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. She feels so light, her bones brittle and fragile like a bird's, so I'm careful to not squeeze so hard. "No. No. Not because of you. It was a tragedy, but it wasn't your fault."

"Yes, or no. It does not matter. What matters is you." She places a hand on my arm, and her other on Lara's. "_You found each other._ It is beautiful. I have been alone my whole life, haunted by something I cannot change. But you have each other, and it warms my heart."

Her story breaks my own. It's raw and painful and so full of truth that later that night I cling to Lara, afraid to let go. My face is pillowed against her breast and her fingers trace patterns in my back. I don't want that to be us. I'm so grateful it's not. "Promise me you won't go chasing after stars, Lara."

A sound comes out of her throat, wordless and rumbly. I lift my head to look at her and her eyes are watery. She shakes her head. "I'm not going to chase false dreams, Sam. I already have my star." I straddle her and continue this conversation with my lips on hers.

Our kiss heats up quickly from the weight of our emotions. I'm going to claim her, but something rattles and I look around. "Did you hear that?" It rattles again and now we're both sitting up in bed. The lamp lifts into the air and instead of freaking out the only thing that comes out of my mouth is, "Really? _Really_?"

The lamp drops back down with a clatter and I look at Lara. She has a curious look in her eyes. I know that look. That's the look of 'we're going to get to the bottom of this.' That's the look that spells trouble.

I open my mouth, thinking that I'm going to at least try to protest anything that involves leaving this nice warm bed when the lamp flings through the air and nearly hits Lara in the head. "Okay someone doesn't like us."

"I don't know Sam, in some cultures, lampthrowing is a sign of affection."

I smack her in the arm and roll out of bed. Lara follows me, and hugs me from behind, kissing my shoulder. The room grows suddenly colder, and there's a light outside the window. We run to it and peer out. Footprints lead away into the darkness of the valley and I don't have to look at Lara to know what she's thinking. We dress quickly and warmly, and with flashlights in hand start walking through the snow following the footprints. I don't think they're Ms. Kimura's. She's still in her room, I'm pretty sure. Plus I think they're a little too small, but she's a frail old lady so maybe her feet are this small. They're actually not much smaller than mine, though Lara's footprints are huge in comparison. I giggle.

"What?" She stops and turns to look at me.

"Oh. Oh nothing, I just...your feet are kind of big, sweetie. It's those boots."

She sounds a little put out. "I _like_ my boots, Sam. They're practical. And if I recall, _you_ gave them your stamp of fashion approval."

That's true. I'd even picked them out for her. It's kind of a birthday tradition. They're rugged fashionable, but also really tough and practical. I might sometimes let myself geek out over having this rugged outdoorsy, tough as nails girlfriend. Person. Wife. And knowing that she's so sweet and considerate and shy underneath it all just makes me even happier.

Her hand finds mine and we walk along in silence for another ten minutes before the footprints lead us into a cave. It's warm inside, like there's a fire lit somewhere, but I can't see one. Aren't ghostly places usually cold?

Lara spots a shrine, and we approach it cautiously. It might not be fair to call it a shrine. It's really just a statue of a woman with a candle lit in front of it. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

My wife lifts a hand to the statue and touches it. "This isn't that old. Less than a hundred years. The woman it depicts is young too. I _think_ this is Setsuko."

Then this wasn't a shrine so much as a memorial. That relaxes me immediately. It also makes me feel pretty sad. "That's such a sad story. Where do you think she was headed when she died? Did she really think she could get Ms. Kimura a star?"

Frowning, Lara presses her palm against the statue, then takes my hand and press it against the statue, too. The stone is warm, and there's a buzzing feeling that sets my bones on edge. I feel Himiko stir, just a little, and yank my hand back. "She's...this is…"

Lara looks into the statue's face, her tone resigned. "Setsuko is tied to this statue. She's trapped."

"Do you think we can free her? Break it open?" I start to look around for something we can use to smash the thing. Lara grabs my hand.

"No, we can't. We don't know what will happen to her soul. We could destroy her. Or turn her into one of the shadow puppets."

_That_ makes me pause. "This thing is too big to move…"

"I don't think it's the same as the others. But there's a way to transfer power from one vessel to another, Sam. So maybe there's a way to free her." Lara starts to lead me out of the cave, and I have the distinct impression we're being watched.

I turn at the entrance of the cave and speak in Japanese, "I don't know why you tried to get our attention, but we know your story and we're going to help. We'll find a way to free you. And you can move on and be there when Natsumi passes on. I promise."

I'm a Croft now. We keep our promises.


	2. Footprints in the Snow

Crofts keep their promises, but I don't know how we're going to keep Sam's. The story of Natsumi and Setsuko sticks with me for the rest of our honeymoon. I put it out of my mind when I can and try to enjoy myself. I try to take Natsumi's words to heart. Sam and I have each other, and we don't have to spend our lives wondering what might have been, like the old woman must have done. It's not easy and more than once Sam calls me out on it. I try to hedge exactly once but that woman never could take no for an answer.

"You can't dwell on the past," she tells me, drawing my eyes from the bullet train's window as we sped back towards Tokyo.

I shake my head and smile at her, trying to be reassuring. "We have a lot of good memories of our honeymoon, Sam. And one bittersweet one." It is like a salve over the fevered days after Yamatai. That either of us can look at Japan again with anything other than trepidation and trauma is a miracle in and of itself. I'm profoundly grateful to Sam that she chose her father's country for our honeymoon. I tell her that, and I tell her why, and her face lights up like the sun. The shadows that constantly creep in around us are chased away.

But the closer we get to Tokyo and the airport, the more that I know our respite from the world of magical artifacts and Nathaniel Shaw is at an end.

"I'm not ready to go back to London yet." Sam's reply is not what I'm expecting and it gets my full attention.

"What do you mean? We can't stay on holiday forever, as nice as that would be."

An amused look crosses her face as she rolls her eyes at me. Sam's facial expressions are some of my favorite things but right now I just want her to get on with it.

"I don't know. Like can we take the long way home? A day trip in Beijing, maybe visit an old temple in Tibet…" She fidgets one hand up and down her arm, as if trying to rub away the marks that only we can see there.

"Shouldn't I be the one suggesting the archaeological side-trip? Or have I finally rubbed off on you?"

Sam looks back at me and I put a hand over her mouth before she can make a perverted joke out of my ill-chosen words! "Okay, I don't have anything I need to do back home for a few weeks yet anyway. We'll make a list and a flight plan. I wouldn't mind a detour into India, either."

"Oh my god that would be awesome. They have some _beautiful_ clothes!"

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be happy to listen to Sam gush about clothing, but I am and I do for the rest of the trip to the airport. She hasn't been this lit up in a long time and it's a relief no matter what the reason.

There's a delay at the airport due to the weather, and I keep an eye on Sam while we wait for it to clear up enough to take off. She has her earphones on and her face plastered to the window so I can't tell if she's thinking what I'm afraid she's thinking of. I pull my own phone out. The earbuds are brand new, and pink because I missed my old ones. Who knew I'd ever want pink anything? But it brings a level of comfort I sometimes still sorely need.

Taking Sam's hand, I squeeze it gently. She looks at me, then rolls her eyes as if guessing at what I'm thinking. I interject before she can say anything. "Sam, I'm not…"

"I'm not going to do anything, god. Not if our lives aren't in danger. Trust me." A small comfort, really. Her eyes are pleading and I nod. Trust her. I'd promised her I would. Sighing, I settle into my seat and close my eyes. We eventually do take off, and the flight is uneventful. Sam uses the wifi to secure a hotel room for when we land, and I use it to make a checklist of everything we can possibly see in the short time we'll have. It's not going to be enough time at all. There's never enough time to see everything. It's a little depressing but I try to make do.

We move around the city so fast that I know I'm going to need to view Sam's footage later just to remember most of it. I'm exhausted from the whirlwind tour of historical sites, but neither Sam nor I are in the mood to turn in just yet. I only wish I had weeks to explore in detail. Years if I tried to visit other parts of this country. It's a problem I have no matter where we visit. Too bad I can't clone myself, but the thought makes me shiver. As much as Sam would love it the world doesn't need two Lara Crofts.

The night belongs to Sam. We hit four bars and three dance clubs. It's in the last that I have the distinct impression I'm being watched. Not in the way where we get stared at for dancing so closely, but in the way that makes me reach for a gun that isn't there.

Try as I might, I can't see anyone.

"Is something wrong?" Sam's lips brush my ear.

I turn to look at her and shake my head with a laugh. "Drink is starting to get to me."

She gives me a wicked look, and I know I'm in for it. She pulls me up to the roof of the club, but I push her against the side of the building as we snog. Sam's leg is around my waist and my leg is between hers. I can feel how hot she is for me and that switch in my head flicks on. I pin her wrists above her head and Sam's whimper kindles a fire inside me.

I'm thoroughly embarrassed as we descend back into the club. That presence is gone, for which I'm relieved. Sam can barely stand and doesn't bother to hide her disheveled state, so I tug her into a cab as soon as I can.

We have an early flight but it's so late I don't bother trying to sleep. In the light of the hotel room I can see the bruises on Sam's wrists and the bite marks on her throat. My heart sinks into my shoes. I take her hand and stroke her skin gently. Her wrist is a little rough - it has been since Yamatai and the binding ropes had left its scars, but the bruises are noticeable. I'd gotten too rough and my voice sticks in my throat.

She grins at me and butts her head against my cheek. "You're amazing."

"I'm sorry I hurt you..."

Looking at her wrist, Sam shakes her head. "Badge of honor."

"I _don't_ want to be the kind of person who gets rough with you. You're too special for that. And you're so pissed right now that I feel like I took advantage of you..." I'm going over other encounters of ours in my head. I start to say more but she pokes me in the chest.

"Lara...Lara...sweetie. You're not...roughing me up or anything. I mean I'm okay. I'm okay with the roughness. 'Cuz there's a part of you that's rough and I love that part, but there's also the gentle sweet tender Lara that...mmmm…" She trails off for a moment, before snapping back into focus. "Besides...you should see what I did to your ass before you pinned me."

I twist around, and sure enough there's a red handprint right on my bum. I turn the color of Sam's dress. I still feel a little guilty, but we can talk about it when we're both sober. I glance back at her and she's smiling sweetly and dazedly. "I love you and all your rough edges."

Our flight nearly leaves without us, but we manage to board in time. My hangover can't be as bad as Sam, but in daylight her wrists look fine. There's still the marking of my teeth on her shoulder, and when she notices me staring at it she gives me a smile and strokes my cheek, saying only, "Yes, I'm yours. You claimed me. It's awesome." Her voice is quiet, so respecting her hangover I just grin back at her. If I ever cross a line, I can trust her to tell me.

We sleep on the plane, her head on my shoulder and my cheek buried into her hair. My dreams are filled with snow, and I can hear a voice calling in the distance. But I can't reach it. The snow is too deep, and the wind too strong. It starts to snow, the sky turning white and I try to push through the blizzard, my limbs growing heavier and heavier until I'm no longer able to move. I wake as the storm starts to bury me and it takes me a full minute to recognize my surroundings.

"Lara? Are you okay? You're sweating." Sam puts her hand on my forehead and I smile in return. It isn't the worse dream I ever had. I wonder if the voice that called had been Setsuko, or if it was someone else. I don't know the answer.

"I'm okay. Just had a really strange dream. I was trudging through a blizzard, and the snow got deeper and deeper until I was buried." I straighten a crick in my neck and peer out the window past Sam's face. The view is breathtaking. Mountains buried in snow, their peaks sticking out of the clouds like islands at sea. The air is so clear up here that we can see for an eternity. I wonder what mysteries we can uncover on those frosty slopes.

"Try not to jump out the window or anything," Sam tells me as she playfully pushes me back into my seat. I had leaned past her to get a better view, so I probably deserved it. "Pilot said we've got another hour before we land."

"What time is the flight?" I doubt there were very many nightclubs, but I've been surprised before.

"One PM. Day after tomorrow. I wanted to give us a chance to either sleep in, or get up early and explore some more. This one is all you, sweetie." She turns her tablet so I could see it better. Sam is amazing, and knows me perfectly. "I marked the places I think you'll want to see most, that we can actually see in a day."

I have to give Sam credit. She picked perfectly. I decide to only visit a few of the monasteries in Lhasa. That way I can take my time and enjoy the experience rather than feel rushed like I was in Beijing. China is a country I plan on making return visits to.

By the time we get to our hotel, I'm wide awake. It's barely noon, local time. Sam looks like she's ready to collapse into bed, so I give her a little shove in that direction. She flips me off after she teeters face first onto the mattress. I sit next to her, giving her bum a thwap. "I'm going to go for a jog. Do you think you'll be okay here alone?"

"Brains."

"That's a yes. I'll bring you back supper."

Lhasa is beautiful. I'm not even twenty-five yet and I've seen some of the most awe-inspiring places on earth, many of which haven't had living eyes on them in centuries. It's a good feeling, but I'm not sure it's one I deserve. In the time since I'd convinced Roth to take us into the Dragon's Triangle, I've killed scores of men. I've watched people - some of them very close to me - die. Because of me, Sam is a killer too. I don't deserve to feel proud of my accomplishments. Yet I do anyway. Maybe I'm only human, and maybe I don't want that island to win.

Starting out at a brisk walk, I get a feel for the city. It feels like one in transition. I remember reading about the Chinese tearing down a lot of the old Buddhist buildings and religious sites and turning it into a tourist town. It's pretty obvious that's exactly what they've been doing and it's really depressing. It's not the first city this has happened to, either. Two cities in China proper have already had this make-over. My blood boils and I increase my pace to a jog. The destruction of so much history and for something so transient as tourism dollars just hits me right in the chest.

After about half an hour, as the sweat stains my shirt and my legs start the familiar bun, I sense someone following me. It's subtle, and it takes me another five minutes of running to be sure, but somewhere in the bustle around me, there's a person who is good enough to follow me without me being able to tell where they are.

Slowing down, I make my way into a little corner food stand. I'm hungry and the pretense of eating might give me a chance to catch my follower in the act. I'm funneling some laping noodles into my mouth when I think about Sam. She's alone back in the hotel room. I don't want to give away my thoughts so I eat a little more slowly before I pull my phone out. I casually text Sam, then look around surreptitiously.

She texts me back a moment later. I tell her about being followed and to get dressed and stay put. Her response is a frownie face. I roll my eyes and put the phone away. It's time to see if I can lure my mysterious follower out. There's an alley nearby that I cut through, and then as soon as I'm clear I scale up the wall and perch on the edge of a roof. Sure enough, a figure walks down below me. It pauses and looks around.

I land next to the person and slam them against the wall, my forearm at their throat. Her throat. The girl stares at me with wide brown eyes. She's wearing rags and her frame is slight and she's clearly underfed. I pull away immediately. "I'm so sorry! Are you all right? Why were you following me?"

The girl shakes her head, holding up her hands at me, palms out. She clearly doesn't mean any harm and I curse myself bitterly for my paranoia. The girl can't be any older than eleven or twelve. I hold my own hands out. "It's okay. Are you hungry? Let me buy you some food."

Shaking her head, the girl pulls out a pouch. I watch her curiously as she opens it. It's a small figurine made from a white stone and carved into a wolf. It's not native to Tibet. It's origin is thousands of miles away, and when she presses it into my palm I can feel the buzzing of power within. She closes my fingers around it. Her smile is warm. Her english is surprisingly good. "It's a key. That's all I know."

"A key to what?" I grab her arm before she can run away. She's so frail and small that I doubt she's eaten well in a long time. I start to pull her back towards the street. My grip is too strong for her to get away, and I don't even have to try that hard. "I'm buying you lunch, you're so thin." I stop at one of the street vendors to get more noodles, then take her to a place where we can sit and eat.

I tuck the figurine into my pocket and send Sam another message, telling her it's a false alarm. She gives me another frownie face. The girl struggles a bit more then gives up when I make her sit. I try to be gentle. "What's your name?"

She hesitates for a moment, looking around before digging into her food, as though she were afraid it would be taken from her. I won't let that happen, but her worry is concerning. After a few bites she shakes her head and doesn't answer.

"I can't just call you girl," I say, reaching over to put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm Lara." Names in Tibetan culture are a pretty significant thing, and one can have several over the course of their lives. I just need to get her to trust me, especially after how I'd introduced myself.

"Dolma," she says finally, after a moment's thought. "My mother chose it." From the tone of her voice this is very important to her. I give her a smile and let her finish eating before I ask my next question.

"Why did you give me that figurine? You said it's a key, but why me?"

Dolma looks back down at her nearly empty bowl, and her voice is so quiet I nearly miss what she says. "It told me to look for a girl with the eyes of a wolf. That she would look familiar to me."

I can feel the energy of the object in my pocket and grimace. "That does sound like me, much as I wish it weren't so. Why am I familiar to you?" That the figurine told her anything isn't a surprise at this point.

She shrugs a shoulder in a gesture that's probably universal to children her age. "Your face. You remind me of someone."

That sends a chill right down my spine. I dig my nails into my knees and look more closely at her. "Who do I remind you of?" I'm fairly sure that I don't want to know the answer.

The girl turns her face towards me, her eyes studying mine. She holds my gaze without flinching. I've seen grown men twice my size flinch and this girl isn't turning away. "When I was little, there was this man. He gave my mother the wolf. Your eyes are a different color and your face is softer, but you're the same."

My stomach starts turning around in circles and I'm glad I'm sitting, because I'm suddenly dizzy. I wait until the world stops spinning before I reply in a voice that's much too shakey for my liking. "Do you know this man's name?"

Dolma shakes her head. "My mother never told me before she died. I only know he went into the mountains and never came back."

I look in the direction of the snowy crags and chew on my lower lip. My parents had disappeared on an expedition when I'd been barely this girl's age. I pull the wolf out of my pocket and turn it over in my hands. None of this is a coincidence. As I hold it in my hands, I think about going into the mountains. Find my father and my mother and lay to rest the questions that have been nagging me for fifteen years.

"It's not time yet." I snap out of it and look at Dolma. She's studying me. This girl's eyes are older than she is, and I can't imagine what kind of life she's led.

I find my voice and ask, "Time for what?"

Her hand waves in the direction of the mountains, and the figurine in my hands pulsates, as though it concurs. It's not an answer I'm happy with and I grit my teeth as I fight back every rebellious impulse I have. A lot of the answers I've been searching for are _out_ there. Once again I find myself reacting to supernatural events, and now it seems like there's a _timeline_.

"Right." I shove my irritation down and get up. None of this is Dolma's fault. At worse she's just a messenger. A starving one at that. I need to take care of this before I decide what I'm going to do with this information. "Do you need a place to sleep tonight?"

She looks up at me shyly, then nods her head and gets up. I'm relieved because there's no way I'll be able to sleep knowing this girl doesn't have a roof over her head. What had happened to her mother? "How long have you been on your own?"

"A couple of years, I don't know."

I nod at her. Her english is really good for being on her own like this. There's more to that story and I just need to know what questions to ask. Dolma clams up after a little while, and I stop pushing her. I don't know what I'm going to do about her, but I just can't let her suffer on the street if there's anything I can do to help. For whatever reason my father got her involved in our family bullshit and now I'm responsible.

That night, I dream of the snow again, of trudging through a blizzard. This time Sam is with me. I'm pulling a sled while she huddles with Dolma on it. When I wake I don't remember where we were heading. The only thing I'm sure of as I hold the wolf figurine and watch the sun rise through the window is that I'll be coming back, sooner rather than later. That seems to appease it, but not me. Those mountains beckon.


	3. The Woman With The Scar

I really love how Lara manages to freak me out and then ten minutes later say everything is okay. As if that'll calm me down and make me put my lampclub back where I'd found it. The ones in our room are heavy and useful for bludgeoning people to death, which Lara had jokingly noted when we'd first walked in. I hadn't expected to need to put that to practical use!

I'm in the process of of giving her a death glare as she walks in when she's followed by this dark haired Tibetan girl. She's maybe a little younger than I was when I first met Lara and my snarky comment dies in my throat. It had been a good one, too. The poor girl looks half-starved and I can't blame Lara in the slightest for her compassion. I slip an arm around her waist as she calls to have some food delivered. But I still have some snark in me. "If this is your hint about kids, it's noted."

She shoots me a look and I give her my most darling smile. I'm leaning in to sneak a kiss when I realize the girl is gaping at us. She probably doesn't see two women acting this close all that much around here, and I step back. I can sense Lara relax as I do so. Moving over to the bed I sit next to the girl. "I'm Sam, Lara's...person."

The girl gets this determined look in her face. "I'm Dolma. And neither of you need to do anything, I'm fine on my own."

Oh there's some serious stubborn pride there and I kind of like her. She reminds me of Lara and me. I wonder if I was that bad. Lara was. She still is. "Just because you don't need anything doesn't mean we don't want to help. Trust me, Lara can outstubborn the both of us combined if she sets her mind to it. It's better to just let her help."

She sticks out her lower lip in a pout. That might work under other circumstances and it's really hard not to waver under the power of it. I glance back up as Lara approaches, and wonder what she's planning. We can't exactly take the girl with us when we leave.

"Food will be here shortly." She plants her hands on her hips and regards Dolma, studying her like she's a particularly fascinating sculpture. "Do you have anyone? Any family or friends?"

The girl shakes her head and I feel my stomach tighten. I've only just started mending things with my parents. Sometimes I really do forget how lucky I am. This girl doesn't even have a Roth. Maybe that's it. I look at Lara again, really look at her. Roth did so much for her when he was the only thing she had left in the world and she wants to pay it forward.

My wife nods her head and returns to the phones. I wonder what she's doing but when I move to ask she just shoots me a look and I shut my mouth. Okay then. Instead, I occupy my time asking Dolma questions about the city and the people she's seen here, filming the whole time. She's not very talkative, but I get a little bit out of her.

Lara hangs up the phone, then comes over and sits next to us. "Sam, do you think you have something she can wear? I'll take her shopping tomorrow but until then I think we can get her into something cleaner."

"Yeah, I have a couple things!" I bounce up and start rooting through my bags. I find a t-shirt I usually sleep in and a pair of sweats. If Dolma ties them tight enough they should stay on her long enough to get her something in her size. "I mean if we gave her something of yours it'll never fit!"

"I don't know if that's supposed to be an inappropriate joke or not," Lara says. "But you should really refrain around Dolma."

The girl rolls her eyes, and I giggle. "Lara, she's not five. Remember that I lost my virginity at-"

"SAM!"

I give Dolma the clothing, still unable to stop the grin on my face. "Go change in the bathroom."

When she's gone, I turn to Lara. "How do you do this? You just find a kid in the middle of freaking Tibet and bring her home."

"And she had this." Lara pulls something out of her pocket. It's some kind of carved wolf. I can feel it's energy giving me the heebie jeebies almost immediately.

"What the hell is that?"

"A key," Lara says, looking suddenly tired. "From my father."

"A kid, who by some miracle _knew your dad_?" This isn't a door I want to open any time soon. I sit next to Lara and take her hand, trying to absorb this crazy coincidence. That's how we're sitting when Dolma comes in. She looks at us, then sits in one of the chairs and pulls her legs up.

"Did you know Amelia Croft, too?" I ask her, after there was a long silence. Dolma shakes her head.

"Just the man."

"How old were you when you met him?" I'm trying to figure out the math in my head because if the timing works out it would be around the time Lara's parents vanished.

She shrugs, and I feel Lara shift in irritation next to me. So instead I say, "Okay, never mind. Food is almost here."

We don't get any more answers and we never end up visiting any of the places we'd planned on. Lara spends a lot of time making arrangements on the phone, too and by the time we're flying out of Lhasa, Dolma has been set up with a small apartment, a cell phone, and a monthly allowance.

I take Lara's hand as I watch her look out the window. I wonder if she would have done any of that if her family hadn't been involved. I don't have the heart to ask her, because I don't want her to have to think about that. But knowing her, she asks herself the same question. Besides, I've got other questions on my mind.

"What is it, Sam?"

Her question startles me, and I take so long to answer that she looks at me. "Well…" I give her a shrug of my shoulders. "I was wondering how come we're not knee-deep in snow right now. I'm not complaining. I don't think we need to be chasing after wild geese right now."

She holds up the little white figurine that Dolma had given her. "I'm not ready, I guess. I don't think I want to know the answers, or what I'll find. It's been so many years, and I'm just not ready."

There's so much resignation in Lara's voice that it hurts. I wonder how much is what she really feels or if it's that damned wolf. It doesn't sound quite like her and it's just a teensy bit alarming. Lara should be chomping at the bit but she's sitting there talking about not being ready. I take the figure from her and I can feel Himiko stirring inside me. She's pacing around like a caged tiger and maybe this is how Lara feels all the time. Even a moment's lapse and the monster comes out to bite you and everyone you care about.

Carefully, I put it away in Lara's carry-on. Like water washing over me, my own personality reasserts itself and Himiko is gone. It seems like whenever I'm around one of these things my control over myself weakens. It's terrifying and the last thing I can do is tell Lara about it. I can't burden her with my existential bullshit.

"When it's time, we'll book the first flight out there. I promise you."

Her tired smile buoys my spirits. "Well Sam, what's next on our whistlestop tour of the ancient world?"

"I wasn't sure if you were still in the mood for any of that. We spent an extra day in Lhasa, and this...whole thing with your dad."

Her finger presses to my lips and she shakes her head. "I'm not going to change my life around for things like this. We'll be back home eventually and then we can let the world back in, but until then I'm going to enjoy my honeymoon."

Of course, her finger is in the perfect spot to start sucking on and I manage to distract us both for a couple of minutes. Her expression gradually lightens until there's only laughter in her eyes. I can never get enough of it when Lara looks like that. It's a look she reserves exclusively for me.

I don't let Laura see our destination when we change planes and keep her distracted whenever the pilot mentions where we're going. She finally puts her arms around my head until after the pilot announces half an hour to landing, and then lets go of me. "Rome!"

There's a lot to do in Rome even when you have a week, so I've given us three days. That had been part of my plan all along, and even with the extra time in Tibet we're still going to get the full stay. We're barely settled into the hotel before Lara's trying to drag me all across the city. I indulge her because I know she's still got Tibet on the mind. Besides, soon enough the sun sets and the night is _mine_.

Even though my feet are killing me, I put on my most killer heels and my shortest dress, and pin Lara down until she gives in and puts on the outfit I picked out for her. This manages to backfire pretty spectacularly when she rolls me onto my back and pins _me_ to the bed. Lara's eyes are hooded and dark and I drink in her gaze as my body lights up like a Christmas tree. It takes me ten minutes just to straighten myself out when she's done with me but it's totally worth it.

Rome's nightlife is supposed to be excellent. I have the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm. Lara is wearing this sexy, low-cut blouse and stylish leather pants, which matches really well with the black dress I'm wearing. Heads turn as we walk into the first bar and I grin toothily at Lara. She has to feel as proud as I am. My hand slides down her arm and touches the ring on her finger. I love when she wears it there instead of around her neck. I guess she isn't expecting any kind of danger or climbing today.

This gorgeous, sexy woman is mine, and from the way she glances at me, she feels the same way about me and there's just something about that that makes me stupidly giddy. I don't even go for drinks, I just drag her out to dance. Lara eventually finds her rhythm. My arms are around her neck and shoulders and we lock our eyes together, oblivious to the world.

She gives me a feathery kiss on the lips and touches her forehead to mine. "Before we left for Japan, I asked Winston to have the master bedroom stripped down. New bed, different furniture...I was torn between something modern and something classical but decided you'd like modern better. We can make it truly ours once we're home."

It takes a minute for that to sink in. She really _is_ serious about living at the manor. I check her forehead for a fever and she swats at my hand, rolling her eyes. So I poke her nose instead. "You better be doing this for you and not out of some misguided sense that I need some big place or something."

"It's for both of us, Sam. Yes, there are a lot of memories there, and it's so ostentatious it's a little nauseating, but it's just being wasted sitting there, unlived in." Lara hates waste. After all our time spent with her working two or three jobs just to get through University and keeping a roof over our heads, we've both learned to be thrifty. Well _she_ learned and just made me copy her, anyway.

"Lara, there'll be like three people if you include Winston." I hate pointing that out, especially when her face furrows up. "Maybe we should open it up to someone. We travel a lot, right? I'm not saying rent to strangers because that's skeevy but what if we converted it into … I don't know, a shelter for kids or something."

"Now that's a thought…"

Anything else Lara might have said is lost when someone taps my shoulder. It's a woman, maybe late twenties. She's pretty, in the girl-next-door sense. Her skin is tanned and there's a long, curved scar that runs from just her left eye, down across her nose and cheek all the way to her jawline. That eye is cloudy, but her right one is the color of emeralds, and she has on dark eyeliner. Her hair though. Her hair makes me jealous. It's long, dark red and shines in the light of the club.

She asks in Italian if she can cut in. Her voice is low and smokey and I can picture her belting out a song like ladies used to do in the forties, drawing the music from the very depths of their being.

I don't get a chance to answer before she's swept Lara away from me.

They dance for like twenty minutes while I nurse a drink. That lady has moves, and in a slinky navy colored dress she's putting them to good use. I get distracted by the way the fabric molds and flows around her ankles and then at how it hugs her breasts. And it just depresses me. Lara can _tap_ that if she was inclined. There are a lot of people she could be with. Dancing with. Looking very serious and concentrated at. That's it. I get up with every intention of throwing the first punch, but Lara intercepts me first. I pout at her and there's more hurt in my voice than I want to let out. "Enjoy yourself?"

"It's not…" Lara sighs in frustration and presses her palms to my cheeks. "We need to get back to the hotel and change. I'll explain on the way there." Her face falls as she takes in my expression. "Don't look at me like that, Sam. You're the only one for me."

"Yeah. Tell that to Tits McGee." I pull away and make it outside before she grabs my arm and holds me, her front to my back. It's pouring out and I don't really care if I'm channeling Himiko or not. I've come to learn that Himiko is the jealous sort. Or maybe she just brings that out in me.

"I did. The first time she made a pass at me I made it very clear I was already claimed by the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. This is about business, Sam. Please don't be angry. It's about an artifact."

Turning around, I stare at her face. She's genuinely fretting. My anger abates and the downpour slowly turns into a drizzle. "I just get … I mean look at her curves."

"She does nothing for me." When I give her a look she rolls her eyes, then drags me into a taxi for the ride back to the hotel. She doesn't let go of my hands, and it isn't long before I'm leaning in against her. "I take marriage very seriously. You don't...you don't _stray_. Especially when your wife is this jaw-dropping Japanese princess."

"Tell me more about this wife of yours," I reply, nuzzling my nose into the crook of her neck.

"Oh! Well she's gorgeous. When I run my fingers through her hair it's like touching fine silk. Her eyes are almost always filled with light, and she's smarter than she likes to let on. Her ability to take raw camera footage and make it into art is supernatural. I've known her for years and she always comes up with ways to surprise me. And…" Lara lowers her voice to try to hide her embarrassment. "And she's utterly brilliant in the sack. A creative mind in love, you know."

"Mm. Your wife is lucky. She has this tall, sexy and intense woman who loves her that much." Taking Lara's hand, I place it on my leg and rub it in place until she gets the hint. Her eyes keep darting furtively to the taxi driver until I turn her face and kiss her. I'm having trouble breathing by the time we pay the taxi and stumble towards the elevator. This is exciting but really kind of frustrating since Lara is so paranoid we'll get caught that she can't concentrate on what's important. Namely, getting me off.

That all changes in the elevator when she lifts me up against the mirrored wall. I'm completely at her mercy, her hand between my legs and her mouth on the pulse-point of my throat. I don't care where we are or who walks in on us and my nails draw blood on her shoulders. I scream my release into her mouth as she holds me against the mirror. Lara lets me down gently, both figuratively and literally, and presses some fingers against my cheek. That makes me blush more than what we just did.

The elevator dings and this elderly couple enters. I'm standing there, my hair going in every direction, the hem of my dress riding up on one hip. Lara not-so-discreetly fixes that, and I reach up to smooth out her shirt.

Lara's face is as red as mine. There's this jolly song playing over the speakers as we go up several more floors while we stand next to a golden girl and her husband. I can't say a word, and stare straight ahead until the door opens. I grab Lara's hand and drag her out of the elevator. As the doors close, I swear to god I hear laughter behind us.

"Oh my fucking god!" I double over and start to laugh too. "Oh my god!"

Lara leans against the wall. "We are never doing that again!" I look over at her and her shoulders are shaking. I poke her in the ribs and the laughter bubbles forth. This is probably some kind of horrific nightmare for her. Which means I'll have to work extra hard to get her to loosen up again. I'm in an amazingly good mood though, and push Lara through the door when we're back in our room.

It's another thirty minutes before we're back in a cab again. Lara makes me wear something good for running and climbing. She's threading her wedding ring onto the string of her pendant when I finally get around to asking what's actually going on. "So Tits McGee has some kind of...artifact? Or does she know where one is since we're dressed like we're going on a burglary."

"Giovanna. That's her name," Lara corrects, and I wrinkle my lips and mouth the name like it tastes bad. It's snooty. I revise her up from girl next door to Desperate Housewife.

"This is what I get for feeling jealous around Soraya, isn't it," she says, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Pretty much."

"Well, she knows enough about the official word from our adventures to have done her homework, and she said she knew where there was something that might be similar to what we've encountered."

I put my hand on Lara's lap possessively. "Yeah, so she follows me on Youtube. That doesn't make her an expert in funky power skulls."

"No, but she does know things about them that you cut out of the videos." That makes me pause. When I edited together everything out of Costa Rica and Peru I'd been careful about how much I'd shown of the copies and some of the weird faces.

"Like what kind of things?"

"That the artifacts and the shadow copies are related. She claims she's been researching this for over a year."

"You can't seriously be trusting her."

Lara shakes her head, squeezing my hand and then opening the cab door to let us out as we come to a stop. I'm relieved. I don't like that woman on principle and I'd never actually spoken to her. And if she knows too much, there's no telling where she got the information from, or who she's actually working for. Whatever she told Lara has to have been really convincing.

It takes me a moment to recognize where we're at. I turn to Lara. "The Vatican? Are we going to be committing blasphemy? Because if we're going to be committing blasphemy I'm wearing the wrong pants."

"We're not…_what_? Giovanna told me that the artifact is in there. I wanted us to investigate a bit first before we meet her." Lara takes my arm and leads me along the the outer wall. "Maybe we can sense whatever might be in there. Or maybe the figurine will. It seemed to react positively when I was speaking to her…"

"Lara, are you seriously listening to an ancient wolf statue?" It's then that I feel it. This energy in the air and Himiko reacts _violently_ to it. Way more violently than the tiff in the club. I lean into the wall for balance as Lara says my name. It's like she's talking through glass.

I shake my head when the sensation passes, and look at Lara. The fright in my eyes is reflected in hers. "I'm okay I'm just...there's something in there and Himiko doesn't like it."


	4. The Holy Path

We walk around the outside of the Vatican City for twenty minutes before diverting north to meet Giovanna. Just another couple seeing the sights, but with an eye for entrances. I see Sam filming possible scaling routes more than once. This is dangerous and illegal, but if what Giovanna says is true it's a risk we might have to take. Considering Sam's reaction to just being near I'm inclined to believe that there's something inside the Vatican directly related to our artifact hunt.

In all truth it's a relief to be progressing again. My mind was still in Tibet for awhile there. I know I'll be returning, it's a matter of when, not if.

"I thought we weren't going to do any of this shit on our honeymoon." Sam threads her arm through mine, and she doesn't sound the least bit upset. I glance at her out of the side of my eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"I know, you'll just have to make it up to me later." She looks at me through the viewfinder and I smile back before I push my hand against the lens. "_Laaaara_!"

I owe her. I couldn't imagine a life without her and I don't particularly want to. That's why I have to do things like this. Breaking into the Vatican. Hunt down that bastard Shaw. There's no telling what he has planned for those artifacts and I worry about wasted time. But most of my leads have dried up and Soraya promised she'd call if she got a bead on the enterpretuer. I'm not sure I can trust her not to act alone (and trusting her in general takes some effort on my part). She's too much like me in that way. I might need to call her soon, especially if I make a breakthrough at the Vatican.

"Okay. I'll make it up to you. Lets route to Paris on the way home and we'll do something kind of...frivolous and fun. You won't even have to drag me out, I'll go willingly."

Sam leans against me. "I like dragging you around my natural habitat."

"A Croft is willing to explore strange and sometimes frightening territories," I respond, and Sam's eyes crinkle cutely as she laughs.

"Just us, right? We're not gonna let Tits McGee tag along?"

"Of course not." Sam's jealous, it's pretty obvious but she doesn't need to worry. I could see myself going for Giovanna back in our Uni days, back when I thought Sam would only ever be a dream but I have my dream girl now. I have a ring on her finger and everything.

Maybe Sam's problem is that Giovanna has this raw charm to her, like a stone worn down around the edges and weathered by time. When she'd danced with me, it had been hard to look away. I don't know where she got that scar, but her eyes are intelligent and strong, lacking the the sharpness I usually associate with people like Soraya or myself. Her voice doesn't really help the charm either. It's low and smokey. When she speaks, it's impossible not to listen, and she was pretty good at keeping the conversation off of herself.

What's more, she knew about the artifacts and she knew about some of their properties that we'd told no one outside our circle about. Like the way emotions become heightened around them. They don't control you, but they do make you _feel_ things more.

Sam elbows me and I snap out of my thoughts. I look up and realize we're almost there. Giovanna is waiting for us in front of a dimply lit building. She's changed as well, wearing black trousers and a black sweater. Even with her hair pulled into a pony-tail it falls down past the small of her back.

We nod at each other, while Sam looks between us suspiciously. I shoot her a look, before turning to Giovanna. "You were right, there's something in there that makes the whole area feel off. We're attuned to it from our experiences with other artifacts." I'm not about to mention Himiko to her. I still don't trust her and I can't risk anything happening to Sam.

The Italian is staring intently at Sam, and I follow her gaze. There's blue markings on her hands. They aren't glowing, but they're very definitely there. Shit. I continue speaking, hoping to draw her attention from my wife, "I'm just hoping you have a better plan than break in and look around."

"Mm." Her eyes move over to meet mine. "I have a plan. We will not be going in blind." She jerks her head towards Sam. "The party-girl stays here."

"I will fucking not!" Before I can stop her, Sam steps up to Giovanna, almost in her face. I've hardly ever seen her this pissed at anyone before, and I'm glad it's not at me. The last time that was directed at me made me never want to experience it again. I reach to pull her back but she smacks my hand and grabs Giovanna's shirt. The taller woman just stares at her impassively.

"I'm not letting Lara go in with someone we just met, where she could get hurt or arrested or worse. I know what I'm doing. Just because I like to party doesn't mean I'm _useless_." Sam lets go of Giovanna and I take a step forward. Sam could hit her, I'm certain of it and for a moment I think she's about to.

Then Giovanna laughs and I have to grab Sam's wrist before she actually does haul off and punch the red-head. I pull Sam away. "She's coming, end of story." It's really kind of hot the way she went off like, that but this isn't something I'm going to encourage all that much.

"I can stand up for myself."

Sam tries to wrench away, but not before I whisper in her ear, "I know. I like it."

I can see the shiver run down her spine as I let her go. The air seems to clear. Maybe disaster has been averted, but it's obvious Sam and Giovanna are like oil and water. I'm going to need to keep between them.

"Do not expect me to bail her out if she gets us caught," the woman says dismissively. She starts to walk down the street. I glance at Sam and hold my hands up. "Keep calm. We need her to get into the Vatican."

"I don't like this, Lara. There's something up with that woman."

Regardless, we follow her. There's a section of wall that's a little lower, and she explains that she's already disabled the camera's in the area. Sam presses her as to how she did this but there's no time. She gives me a disgruntled look before I help her over the wall, then I hop up and pull myself over.

I've never been inside the Vatican before and I wish I'd done more research. I'm not too happy with following someone else, but Giovanna has an uncanny ability with directions. Sam records everything before I even ask her to. We can look at that later, if there's a later. I'm starting to suspect it's some kind of trap when Giovanna halts us outside one door.

I stand guard as the woman hooks a small handheld to the electronic lock and starts to crack it. The lock blinks red, then red, then green, and the door unlocks.

Almost as soon as it opens, Sam gasps. She waves her hand at me, trying to signal she's okay, but she's paler and the marks on her hands have started to glow. I pull her in after Giovanna, and the Italian closes the door behind us. "What are we looking for?"

Giovanna bends over a desk, opening drawers. "I'm not sure. What I've researched was not clear on what it looks like, only that it's kept in one of these rooms. The Church does not understand the value of what they have."

"Is it like that...spear thingie?" Sam keeps her voice low as she walks past some artifacts. I'm hoping we can use Himiko to find it and get out of here. I'm willing to risk it right now, and it's not like we have a choice.

"The Spear of Longinus," I correct her. "They have one here, but it's kept in the Basilica. No one knows if it's the real one."

"Hold the fuck on." Sam points at me and I roll my eyes, knowing what my wife is going to say before she does. "It's seriously the _Spear_ of _Longinus_? Oh my god the jokes write themselves! And no one knows if it's _real_? Do you think it takes batteries?"

"Can you watch your language when we are in the Vatican?" The Italian woman's angry words make me snap my head up. I didn't peg her as being religious, but I'm more worried about being discovered.

"I think if God was gonna strike me down he already would have," Sam mutters, but she quiets and resumes looking around. I move to the opposite end of the room. There's a wall full of books and scrolls and the hair on the back of my neck sticks up. I move my hand along the bindings, not touching anything. I stop in front of a red book with gold lettering. It's an Italian book on early Christian scholars, but there's something wrong with it. I pull it out and open it.

The paper is much, much older than the bindings, but that's not the first thing I notice. The first thing I notice is that the words are in a myriad of languages, most of them dead. I recognize a few of them from my father's journal. That third piece of the puzzle. His hidden notes, the journal, and this book! "I think I found it."

I don't know what makes me feel so uneasy about it, but it exudes that same sort of power that came with the skulls that are safely locked away back home. It's darker though. It reminds me of the Kris, though what blood a book could draw outside of a papercut I'm not sure about. Maybe it feeds on something else.

Sam comes over, cautiously. I don't blame her. The book makes me feel a little ill. I show her the pages and she blanches. "This book so doesn't belong here."

"No. It does not." Giovanna walks over, each step purposeful. I snap the book shut and carefully place it into my satchel before she gets it in her head that she can just take it off my hands. Her eyes move between mine and where my hand is still on the bag, but I stand there patiently, waiting for her to decide if it's worth challenging me.

She decides against it. I wouldn't have handed it over easily anyway, but I'm not in the mood to fight if I can help it. I gesture politely. "After you."

The red-head smirks at me, then saunters out. I watch Sam staring and glower at her, before following. I just want to get out of here and study this book.

We don't leave the way we came in, and in fact we end up walking out of a side door like we belong there. Sam catches my eye and I nod my head, agreeing with her that there's more to Giovanna than we think. When you know someone as well as we know each other, words aren't always necessary.

"You've been there before," I say, once we've put enough distance between us and the Vatican to be safe. "I was expecting…"

"Resistance?" She raises her eyebrow at me. "Come, we'll go to your hotel room and then we can see if there's anything in that book that can help us."

"Who said-" I put my hand up and Sam closes her mouth. She resumes glaring at Giovanna.

I've had it up to here with this whole thing. "Lets just go." I can't shake this gnawing worry in my gut. There'd been no one there. There should have been people. Religious scholars, priests, a guard. But we hadn't encountered a single person in the Vatican, and even the streets seem unusually empty. It could be the late hour but I have my doubts. It feels too much like we're being led by the hand towards a specific outcome.

Back at the hotel, I place the book on the bed. I almost always have my father's journal on me, and that goes next to the book. The notes are in my head, which I'm grateful for because I don't want anyone outside of my team to know about them. My team… When did I start thinking of Sam and Soraya that way?

Sam is leaning against the wall while she looks at me as I get comfortable in front of the notes. She sighs. "Since I'm going to lose you in research the rest of the night, I'm going to get us coffee and something to eat."

"Thanks, Sam." I look up and smile at her. "I appreciate that."

She gives me a tired grin, then turns to head out the door. She pauses, then glances at Giovanna. "You, you're coming with me. I need help carrying things back and we totally need to talk."

Giovanna just shrugs and vacates the desk chair. "Okay, _putana_. We'll have our little talk."

Somehow, I hear Sam's fist break Giovanna's nose before I even see her move. Giovanna's insult is only just sinking in but Sam's knocked her down. Giovanna kicks her and I jump off the bed as they start rolling around on the floor. The Italian gets on top and punches Sam, bouncing her head into the floor. I grab her wrist before she can hit my wife again. She twists around and slams her fist into my stomach. The wind is knocked out of me but I grab her other arm and yank her back. Giovanna hits the ground and I plant my knee between her shoulder blades.

There's a few seconds of blissful silence. Giovanna is bleeding on the floor and I hear Sam groan behind me. "For god's sake it's like dealing with children." I dig my fingers into Giovanna's hair and yank, hard. Leaning down, I let all my anger and frustration at the situation into my voice. "If you _ever_ touch Sam again, I swear to _god_ they won't find where I bury your body."

"...Fuck, Lara that's hot."

"Don't you start, Sam." I shove Giovanna's face back into the floor and get off of her. "I know you two don't get along, but if we're going to figure out this goddamn book I can't have you two trying to kill each other!"

"Lara…"

I take a deep breath, going over to check on Sam. She's going to have a nasty bruise on her cheek and eye, and her knuckles are pretty bruised too. "I'm not happy with you either. I know you think she deserved it and maybe she did, but that's not-"

"Lara…!"

"What!" I take another breath and grind my teeth. "I'm sorry, I'm a bit peckish and frankly I'm tired of the two of you-"

She grabs my head and makes me look behind me. The ink from the book is writhing and flowing off of the pages like water. Where it hits the floor it bubbles and grows into a human figure. Another shadow puppet. It looks at me, it's eyes cold, like distant stars on a black field.

I get to my feet and storm past Giovanna. The Italian woman is looking much too calm for what's happening, but I don't have time to think about that right now. I duck as the creature swipes at me, then punch it in the throat.

It makes a gurgling sound as it dissolves into a black mist. I glare at the floor, then at the two other women. "Are we going to have any other problems or can I get back to work?"

There are no arguments, but I don't get back to work right away. I get Sam taken care of first with an ice pack, then order take out because she's not going anywhere anytime soon. Giovanna can take care of herself and sometime during the evening she and Sam disappear. Sam comes back alone. I have to assume Sam didn't murder her and leave the body somewhere.

As I sit on the bed scribbling notes, I think about the whole situation. She'd reacted to the shadow puppet like she'd seen one before, and that's concerning. She's not here right now to ask, so I file that away for later. She has answers, and she's going to give them or I swear to god I'll give her more than a broken nose.

The weird presence is gone now and several pages are now blank, but there's a dozen references to Greek settlements in Turkey. One name in particular keeps coming up. I close the book and page through my father's journal.

Home is going to have to wait. I drop it into my lap and sigh. I just hope one of us doesn't end up throttled by the time we get there.

Giovanna returns later in the evening and I stop her as she enters the hotel room. We stare each other down until she blinks. "What do you want?"

"You've seen those creatures before, haven't you."

Pursing her lips, she steps past me and sits on the edge of the bed. "I have heard stories, and I have found evidence of them in some ancient texts. And..." She looks away. "I was exploring a cave in Spain when I encountered one."

That grabs my attention, because my own research has turned up nothing. "Tell me more."

"There is not much." She shrugs her shoulder. "Only that they are guardians, made from the blood and bodily fluids of human sacrifices. That, or they are the vengeful spirits of the dead. Or perhaps they are remnants of gods. It depends on where you look. The only thing I see common are the numbers seven, thirteen and one-twenty-eight. They appear with nearly every reference to the creatures."

"Well that's frustrating." Sam is sitting up on the other end of the bed. I thought she'd been asleep but she must have been listening in. She's right, it really is frustrating. Different stories, and I don't know if they're actual myths or something Giovanna pulled out of thin air. I still don't know anything about her. She seems honest and she's found information that's eluded me, but she loses points for antagonizing Sam. I look between them.

Giovanna holds up her hands. "I am not going to start anything."

"Yeah Lara, we totally talked it out. We're chill now."

Sam gives me a thumbs up, but I have to ask. "When did you have the chance to do that?"

She flashes me a toothy grin. "You were so into your homework that an army could have marched through and you wouldn't have noticed."

Somehow I don't believe that they've reached any sort of agreement beyond 'no fighting in front of Lara' but I don't pursue it. "Yes, I did my homework. I know where we need to go next." I glance at Giovanna, heartened by the fact that my theory on the numbers may be on the right track.

She looks back at me. "And where is that?"

Giovanna bristles when I ignore her and look at Sam. "Hon, can you book us a flight to Istanbul? We're going to Turkey."


	5. No Sam Without Lara

I swear to god I'm going to kill Giovanna. I hate that bitch. I hate the way she looks at Lara, I hate her condescending tone, I hate how she treats me like I'm some liability. It felt so, so good hitting her, and my black eye is so worth it. And Lara… Lara is hot when she's angry. I want to show her how hot but Giovanna is around and Lara has a lot of work to do.

So I go to cool my head on the roof and Giovanna is there. She's leaning on a railing on the roof. Walking over, I follow her gaze along the rooftops of Rome. It's really beautiful tonight.

Giovanna's expression is almost wistful and unguarded before she notices me and we have a glare off for a few minutes, before she says, "You have a good right hook."

Did Tits McGee just compliment me? I don't think I can deal, but I shrug a shoulder. "You too." Like this is somehow something we should be proud of. Fuck it. We _should_ be proud. I'm this tiny little Japanese girl and I broke a nose. And Giovanna is kind of this vampish woman who's only a little better at fighting than me considering how easily Lara took her down. But then again, that's Lara, and she's a BAMF.

"Clearly, we are going to be working together."

"Clearly." I say, eyeing her warily.

"We should keep the fighting to a minimum, at least when your wife is around. Or we will never accomplish a thing." She turns back towards the city. She's right, and that kind of pisses me of that she got to be the better woman before I could be, but I fold my arms and seethe internally.

"Okay." It's the only thing I can say. We stand in tense silence for awhile before I need to hear sounds. "How did you get that scar?"

Her head doesn't move but I can feel her looking at me out of the corner of her eye. I guess she's weighing if she wants to throw me off the roof or something, and she doesn't answer me right away. I sigh and look up at the sky and after another minute I hear her walk back inside. Maybe I should have thrown her off. Violence solves everything!

I return to the room after awhile too and nap a bit. Lara is so adorable when she's in the zone and I can't keep my eyes open long enough to cheer her on. Luckily, I'm awake in time to hear Giovanna's explanations. What I'm not expecting is booking a flight to Turkey. That's a country we've never been to and I've been hoping we'd get a few days at home doing married couple stuff but the look in Lara's eyes tells me that's going to have to wait. When she looks at me like that I can't deny her anything. She owes me married couple stuff. I should probably find out what married couple stuff is, but I want to do it at least a little.

I'm nice so I even get First Class for Giovanna. Several rows back and on the other side of the plane to us because I don't think I could stand being next to her in closed quarters for that long, but I _could_ have booked her coach. The flight is uneventful and I spend the entire time writing down what I think married people stuff is and showing Lara. She rolls her eyes a few times but puts up with it. I hope she gets the hint, because I'm all but hitting her over the head with it.

After I start discussing curtains she puts a hand over my mouth. "Sam. I get it. You want to do domestic things. But this is really, really important."

I lick her hand until she lets go and goes 'ew', then take it back and squeeze it. "I know it's important and you _know_ I like doing these things with you. I just don't want to miss out on the boring mundane stuff either. I mean, what if we're like 80 and we never even picked out curtains together! What would our kids say?"

She gives me a slightly traumatized look. "Kids? And wouldn't they be excited about all the stories we'd have to tell?"

"Well yeah. And they'll get to watch all the videos I take, but _curtains_ Lara! Curtains!"

She stares at me again, and then shakes her head like she thinks I'm a little crazy. "First thing we do back in London, we'll pick out curtains. Happy?"

"Very."

She nuzzles the top of my head and I hear her murmur 'she wants _kids_' in a terrified little voice. I mean I haven't given it much thought but it's crossed my mind. I wonder if there's some kind of weird science that can impregnate an egg with another egg because Lara's babies would be _beautiful_. Isn't there something about bone marrow?

I kind of just want a piece of her, because she could be taken away from me in a heartbeat. I turn my head up and kiss her. It catches her off guard, but it feels like we have a very in depth conversation about how much I need her, all through the use of our tongues.

We're not in Instanbul for long but I make a note to come back here sometime when we can enjoy it. We take a connecting flight to Izmir from there rent an SUV to head farther south. The weather is actually pretty nice but I pay, because I'll be damned if we don't have decent climate control this time.

I text Soraya a bit while Lara drives. She says Shaw has been quiet this whole time, but there's some kind of big thing planned and she'll let us know once she's got a location. She tells me she's got someone waiting for us at Ephesus. It's pretty much a tourist site at this point, so I hope we can find what we're looking for. "Hey Lara. Did you talk to Soraya about this? She says a friend of hers is waiting at the site."

"Yes, I asked her a few things about Ephesus, as well as some other concerns of mine." She glances at me and mouths Giovanna's name.

"Gotcha." I settle back down and let Soraya know we're grateful for the help. I get a message from Jonah and spend the next half hour of the drive telling him all about our honeymoon. And I send him pictures, because he's like our big cuddly bear of a brother and I'm pretty sure he shipped us the moment we stepped onto that boat.

The place is packed with tourists. I dig my camera out of my backpack and pan around. There's a sea of faces from all over the world and it's really kind of awesome to see how busy it is. Lara looks conflicted. Happy to see some ancient wonders getting attention, but probably afraid of the damage people who don't know any better can do. I slide my hand into the back pocket of her pants and squeeze. "Okay do we know who we're looking for?"

"Her name is Leda." Lara looks around. "She should have curly brown hair, about shoulder length."

"Yeah, like that narrows it down."

But it turns out that Leda finds us. She's a cheerful looking woman, a little taller than me. Her face is rounded, with grey eyes that look like fog on the sea. Her hair is a tangle of coarse curls that frame her face and shoulders and her skin is a warm, earthy tone. She's a bit on the plump side.

She and Lara talk in another language. I think it's Greek, but at least Giovanna looks as clueless as I feel. Leda claps Lara on the shoulder and then hugs her. After introductions, she gives me and Giovanna hugs too. "Raya's told me a lot about you both!"

That might not be a good thing. "...oh god I'm so sorry."

"Good things, I promise!" When Leda speaks, she moves her hands to emphasize her words. She's a very energetic speaker and I wonder how 'Raya' and her met. She raises her eyebrows at us. "We're not going to find anything just looking around."

I glance at Lara, who shrugs and pulls out her notebook. She shows it to Leda. "We need to find this symbol. I've seen it at multiple locations around the world. Turkey was mentioned several times when I was studying a book we found. I'm positive there's a link."

I've seen the sketches. Lara drew them from the video I've taken from the shrines. The faces are there too. I hadn't thought to look for those but that would narrow things down, wouldn't it?

"Kind of abstract, isn't it?" She takes the journal from Lara and looks more closely at it. "This one looks pretty familiar. There's a face a lot like it but it's in a less interesting area."

"Less interesting to tourists maybe." Lara literally bounces on her heels in excitement and I grab her hand before she runs off.

"Try not to look like a kid in a candy store okay? We probably don't want to draw too much attention."

She gives me a sheepish grin and then starts off at a slower pace. I watch her fondly for a moment then chase after her. Leda catches up a few moments later. She looks at me with a grin. "She loves this, doesn't she."

"Yeah, this is like her element." I think I like her. She's really photogenic too. "How do you know Soraya?"

Leda laughs. "How do I know her? Intimately, Samantha."

"Sam, no one cal-wait really? You've tapped that?" I zoom the camera in on her face. "Spare no details, Leda! I want the scoop on the mysterious mercenary!"

I get the scoop. In fact it's such a scoop that I'm pretty sure Soraya is going to kill Leda and me. But it's totally worth it because Leda's face lights up when she talks about the mercenary. I really hope she knows that there's someone who reacts that way when talking about her. Soraya never exactly oozes happiness when she's around us. Now I'm hoping her flirting had been just flirting, because I'm going to punch her in the face if she breaks Leda's heart.

Time goes by so quickly that it feels like I've blinked and we're there. Leda rubs her hands together and points. I don't see anything, but Lara inspects more closely.

Carved on the rear side of one pillar is a face. It's smiling at us. A really creepy smile that sends chills down my spine. "Okay, sweetie. So now what?"

Giovanna pushes past me. "We find a way inside."

"Is there an inside?"

Leda is the one that answers. "Probably! A team recently used some sonar equipment and there's a lot of gaps and underground passages in the area."

"You'd think that would make the news," Lara replies, digging her fingers into a gap in the stone.

"Not when they don't want people knowing about it." Leda moves to help. "The team is one of Shaw's, but I know the people who rented them their equipment. They were really excited."

"Well then, we're about to find out why." We get the gap wide enough for Lara to slip through. Giovanna follows her, and I turn to Leda.

"Coming?"

She shakes her head. "You need someone to keep watch. I promised Raya I'd be careful, anyway."

"Okay. Hopefully we won't be long."

It's really dark inside the tunnels, but we have flashlights and my camera so we can see. It's impossible to get lost because it's a very long tunnel with no obvious branches for the first hundred yards or so.

I keep my voice low as I ask, "So what are we looking for?"

The left fork ends over thin air, and Lara shines her light down into it. "Anything that feels off. The artifacts always draw us to them, remember?"

"Yeah. This place is creepy."

Giovanna started down the other branch. "Nothing feels off in that pit. We should try this way."

I shrug and follow her. The hair on my arms starts to stand on end after a few minutes. After another ten we don't really need a flashlight anymore because the markings on my arms are glowing. Lara touches my face and her fingers feel cold. I'm really hoping the face ones aren't permanent. "I'm okay. I guess we can tell how close we are with how glowy I am."

"At least you're useful for something," Giovanna says, and something stirs inside me that I have to fight down. Lara's hand on my arm helps, and we keep walking.

"I'm not seeing any of that black water. Usually there's no way to get to the ruins with these artifacts without going through some." Lara sounds worried, but I'm relieved. Whenever there's black water those shadow puppets show up and they're bad news.

"Maybe this Shaw person did something with it."

I'm reminded that Giovanna doesn't know everything and I feel better. We haven't really talked about Shaw. I nearly bump into Lara when she stops moving, and I look past her. The path ends in a dip. It's a drop of about three feet into a walled off garden. The plants are all carved stone and there are broken pillars spaced throughout. I see the second creepy face of the day, carved into a statue atop one of the intact pillars.

We're not alone. There's a ladder leading up to a platform, and three men are prying at something on top of it. "Lara, do you see?"

I don't hear her response, because my head suddenly explodes into pain.

**First Day**

I hate my parents. I just want one day. One _hour_ with them. Just them and me, but it never happens. And now they've sent me away like I'm a piece of luggage or something inconvenient. To this stodgy school in England. _England_.

I wish I'd stolen something more expensive, maybe they'd have sent me some place exciting instead.

_England._

I have to share a room with someone, but it could have been one of those schools where like eighty girls share a dorm. Small comforts right? The teacher leaves me in front of the door and I let myself in.

There's a brunette girl sitting at a desk. She's a little younger than me and her hair is pulled back in a braid. She's _gorgeous_. Her tongue is stuck out in concentration as she reads a leatherbound book bigger than a bible. She looks up at me when I close the door. They're the greenest eyes I've ever seen.

I fold my arms. "Hi. I'm Sam."

"I'm Lara. Nice to meet you. Your bed is over there." She points, then looks back down at her book. I swear she's blushing, but she's going to just bury her nose in a book when _I've_ just shown up?

Oh. That's so not happening. Operation Remove Stick From Butt has now commenced.

**Last Day**

"It's _fucking Cambridge_ Lara. _Cam fucking bridge!_" I can't believe it. Of course she'd get into Cambridge. I wave the acceptance letter in her face. "Do you know where I found this, Lara Croft? In the trash! What was it doing _in the trash_?!"

She snatches it out of my hand. "I can't afford it."

"Bullshit! We both know you can afford it. I mean come on, your grades are awesome, you're brain is awesome, _you're_ awesome! Why miss out?"

She levels a look at me. "_Someone else_ put my name in."

"Because I care about your future, sweetie!" And it had hurt. It had hurt like a bitch to think about how far apart we'd be. But it was totally a pain I'd bear for her. Except she's not going to let me.

"I'm not cruising through life on my father's money." She starts to rip the letter up before I can stop her. I stare in horror as the pieces flitter to the ground. "I'm going to work for it. Through scholarships and jobs. I have… Sam you don't understand, I have to do this for myself."

For some reason I'm a little broken up over it. I mean, I hadn't been accepted. Of course. I'm going to UCL. Lara has a golden ticket to one of the best archaeology schools in the world and she just tore it up. My voice catches in my throat. "No, I _don't_ understand."

She takes my hands and squeezes them. "I'm going to UCL. They have everything I need there. The right classes, good teachers, and you."

"Oh." It's the only thing I can think of to say. "Is it selfish to feel happy about that?"

"Of course not. What's the point of chasing a dream if you leave your family behind in the process?"

**Drowning**

I'm in the galley when it happens. The ship wrenches around and water starts pouring in. I'm scrambling, trying to get back to my feet but I'm washed out and into the angry ocean.

Even as it batters me, I hear a voice. It's calling my name, calling for me. I think maybe it's Lara but my lungs are burning and I don't know if I can make it.

The water churns around me as I break the surface. I think I see land so I kick in that direction. The waves actually help a bit, but my muscles are burning by the time I crawl onto shore. I don't know where the others are and I kind of just have to hope everyone made it off the ship. They all have to be okay. God, I knew this had been a bad idea. My gut kept telling me that. I should have listened to it.

What am I gonna do?

**Burning**

Lara looks terrible. I can still hear the sound of them hitting her even though it's stopped. It's a sight I can't unsee. Tied up helplessly, my wrists aching and rubbed raw by coarse rope while the most important person in my life gets the shit beat out of her.

It all starts to sink in. They're going to turn me into a human torch and then they're going to do terrible terrible things to Lara before they kill her. I just...give up. The fire is lit and Lara tells me to look at her. I can smell the smoke and feel the heat but Lara forces me to focus on her and only her. I don't know how she does it but I think I love her for it.

And then the wind catches me off guard and our link is broken, along with all the unsaid things passing between us. A presence envelopes me and the ropes loosen enough that when my legs give out I slide down the pole. The presence disappears and when I regain my senses Lara is gone too.

**Dressing**

He throws the dress in and waits, arms folded and staring at me. I pick it up and glare. It's like a defense mechanism. What the fuck else can I do? I'm fucking terrified. I keep expecting someone to break in and… well the way they keep looking I'm pretty sure the only thing keeping me safe is the fact that Mathias doesn't want his precious vessel 'tainted.'

I should feel better about that than I do, especially with the way the Solari leers as I change. I want to claw his eyes out. I actually think about it. Lara would. Probably. Ever since she saved me in the temple I've been thinking about her. She's like...the goddamn Batman. And I know she'll come for me now. So I have to be patient. I have to trust her, because I can't get out of this alone.

**Ritual**

Himiko's corpse is ugly. It doesn't stink though, and the weirdest thing is that it feels like she's watching me. Every time I move. I can't shake it. It's fucked up, but I'm pretty sure that she's alive in there. I stop feeling sorry for her right around when she starts to claw her way into me.

It burns, like I'm on fire, it tears at me like someone is taking a broken bottle to the inside of my skull. She's there, she's pushing me out and there's _nothing_ there's _nothing at all_ I can do and nothing waiting for me. I think I hear something. Fighting. Lara! I fight back too, inch by figurative inch, pushing back against the Sun Queen to reclaim my body. There's no punching, not even some kind of weird psychic X-men plane, just will against will and fuck I'm stubborn when I don't want to give up.

Stubborn, but losing. She's had thousands of years to prepare for this moment, and how many other women has she overpowered? I just want to see Lara again. For some reason, that becomes the only thing I can think about, even as I feel everything fading to black around me.

The pain is gone when I open my eyes. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Lara's face is haloed as the sun shines down on us, and she's _saved_ me. I don't know if it's the sun or the way she's looking at me, but I've never felt more warm and safe.

It took two years for us to heal, and it's not a complete process. It never _will_ be. I sometimes look back and wonder why it took us so long, when our emotions had been so high just after. I think I was scared. Scared of losing my savior, scared of what the emotions I was feeling meant for us. Scared that they were just in the moment and nothing more. I sure as hell wasn't in the right mental space for a real relationship, either.

And every time I question it, question _us_ I think back to that day. She went through hell for me. She saved my _soul_. Not just my life. That has to be love, right? That has to mean something. It means _everything._ We waited and the feelings only got stronger until they finally burst and we let ourselves have each other.

But Himiko wasn't destroyed. She's still there, at the back of my mind and the edge of my conciousness. It's like she's always been waiting. Waiting and watching and _judging_. She's not pleased I've found my happy. Every important moment is flashing through my mind. First meetings and first kisses and proposals, all while my head rings. I'm floating. Someone is _shouting_.

I'm not me anymore. My eyes open and I can see through them, but it's Himiko who lifts her hand towards Lara, the smell of ozone filling the air. It's Himiko who calls down the thunder.


	6. No Lara Without Sam

The crack reverberates through my chest. I turn in time to see Sam go down and I see _red_. I'm on her attacker in an instant, punching him to get him off balance and then grabbing him by the face and slamming his head into the ground. Seven times. Seven times until he stops moving, blood pooling under his skull. I don't pay him any more heed because Sam's hurt.

I kneel over her. I don't know if I can risk moving her. Her breathing is rapid and shallow and her eyes just look past me like I'm not even there. Checking her hair my hand comes away wet with her blood. Panic seizes me and I sit there numbly, staring at my fingers. This is bad, this is so bad. I can't… I can't…"Sam..Sam! Don't do this to me! Wake up, damn it!"

"Screaming at her is not going to help!" It was Giovanna. I'd forgotten she was even with us.

"We need to get her to a hospital, but she's in no condition to walk." Focus on the logistics, Lara. Focus on what needs to be done to help her. There'll be time to panic later when Sam is safe. But then there's never time to panic. There's never been time to panic.

She looks at me finally and I'm so relieved I don't see the glow in her eyes until it's nearly too late. The lightning strikes several feet behind me and I hear a man scream. I barely have time to feel a thing before a gust of wind throws me away from my wife.

Sam stands, her limbs spasming like she's a marionette. I cautiously get to my feet, unable to tear my eyes away. Her head is flopping to the side. It straightens with a jerk and it's so obvious it's not Sam looking at me that I have to fight the urge to throw up.

If she's not in there somewhere I really don't know what I'm going to do. We have plans together. A life to live but it always comes back to that goddamn island. If I could firebomb the place I would. Wipe it from the face of the earth and let it burn the memories with fire.

"Give her _back!_. You have no right to her. None!" The anger fuels me and I latch on to it. I scream at Himiko in English and then in Japanese. "_[She's not yours and I won't let you have her!]_"

I don't know if Sam can hear me but I call her name. "Sam, you can _do_ this. Come back to me. I don't know _who_ I am without you." I step closer, hands out. I don't go for my weapons - that's a last resort and one I feel physical pain for even considering. But if she's...no longer in there, or if she's suffering…

Wind hits me and I'm thrown to the ground. But I get up. She knocks me back into a stone pillar. But I get up. Himiko starts throwing wind and rain at me. There's a storm outside but inside this temple it's a hurricane. Mist whirls around me as I slam into a wall, then get ripped into the air only to collide with the ceiling. I land on the ground. My back and head hurt, and when I breathe there's a sharp pain. I can't hear anything but the wind, and I shout, "Sam!"

Himiko appears out of the mist and her hand closes around my throat. Her face is contorted into a mockery of Sam's. I grab her wrist and twist it and she lets go. I see an opening and I butt my head against hers. She staggers back and I leap, wrapping my arms around her and knocking us both to the ground. "Sam, _please_!"

Drawing a knife, I stare into her eyes, looking for a sign, for something, anything of my Sam. I don't see anything, and I press the blade against her heart. Blood wells up around the tip. Don't think, don't feel, don't feel. I can't let myself feel this, I...There's a flash in her eyes and I let go of the knife. She was there, just long enough to give me hope, but then Sam is gone too soon because I'm suspended again. Himiko sucks away the air around me until there's nothing for me to breathe. I claw at my throat as though that will somehow help.

Shadows close around me.

_"Lara!"_

When my eyes open, I'm floating in a black abyss. I try to call Sam's name but no sound comes from my mouth, and I can't see a damn thing. I can't even _feel anything_. The only thing that's clear is a humming sound, all around me. Had Himiko killed me? Had my moment's hesitation doomed Sam to a lifetime of mental damnation? No, I'd seen her. I'd seen Sam's eyes come through. No matter what else happens, Sam is still in there, and that means I can save her.

Hands grab at my ankles. I still can't see anything but I can feel them, dragging me down, dragging me away from Sam, dragging me towards an abyss. It feels like hundreds and hundreds of hands. I kick and I claw and I punch and the hands let go of me. Air surges through my lungs as I sit bolt upright, gasping. I'd been out cold. Each breath hurts and the sudden oxygen just makes me dizzy. I still can't see, my eyes are obscured by blood. As I regain my senses I hear Sam crying. I crawl towards that sound. When my hand lands on her knee she jerks away at first, but I pull her back. My throat feels like it's full of rocks. "Sam...thank god..."

"I'm sorry..I...I'm so sorry." Sam's voice is broken and tiny, each worried accompanied by a shuddering sob. Her hair is soft and she smells like heaven as I pull her down and bury my face in her head.

"I'm okay. We're okay. You're so strong, Sam, you fought her off."

Sam tries to jerk away again, and her shriek rings in my ears. "I nearly _killed you_! I could have killed you, I was hurting you and I couldn't stop it! I don't want to be her, I don't want to have to watch her hurt people. It's-"

"It's her and not you. You're not Himiko. She just used you. You're _not_ her and you'll _never_ be her!" She sniffles and shifts against me and burrows into my arms. I hold her like she's going to be ripped away from me at any moment. "You're here, there's still...god I almost...I'm so _fucking sorry_, Sam!"

She speaks so quietly I barely catch her words, but they make my blood run cold. "Next time do it. I'll forgive you. I forgive you ahead of time but next time you have to do it."

How could she ask me to ever do something like that? There's a choked sound and it's coming from my own throat. The world spins, but I can at least see again. She's looking up at me as my tears drip down onto her cheeks. I'm too shattered to even be angry. "No…_no_! Not as long as there's a chance you're still in there."

Her hand touches my cheek. "Lara it's like hell. Like my soul is being ripped at and shredded and then watching her hurt you, helpless to stop it, knowing it's my face that you're seeing doing it...I'd rather you set me free. Promise me."

"I _can't_." Now I'm angry. I pull her up so we're both sitting and shake her by the shoulders. "If you're still in there I'll cut my way into hell to get you back out. Do you understand? You keep me human, Sam. You keep me _stable_. I trust you to have the strength to break free so you have to trust me. Do you trust me?"

She searches my eyes, then sighs and nods. "I trust you. Oh my god…" She hugs me tightly and I start to shake. "Lara…"

"Just don't...ask me things like that," I whisper. "We're going to banish Himiko away."

"I thought controlling the weather and defending us would be useful...but the power isn't worth it." Power corrupts. It's an old adage but no less true. Every time she uses it, it weakens her and makes Himiko stronger.

Everything is catching up to me and the urge to have a nervous breakdown is nearly overwhelming. I put it aside, like I had on Yamatai, like I did in every crisis, and get to my feet. It'll catch up to me eventually, I know. But I put it aside. Sam gets up too and I check her head. The blood is dry, and her scalp is clearly tender but I thought her injury was worse than that. I turn her around and kiss her. "I'm not going to ask any questions, I'm just relieved you're okay…"

"Just gonna have a headache." She winks at me. I want her checked out, but we need to get out of here first. "Hey, where's Giovanna?"

I look around. Rubble is everywhere, and Giovanna could be buried alive. The other thing I notice is a distinct lack of a presence in the air. A sinking feeling fills my stomach - the artifact is gone. Giovanna could have taken it in the chaos, but I start looking for her anyway.

There's a foot underneath a stone slab, but after I push the rubble off I see it's a man.

"Here!" I follow Sam's voice. Giovanna is half-buried in debris and it takes us twenty minutes to dig her out. She's covered in dirt and there's a gash on her forehead. I feel momentarily guilty for thinking the worse of her.

The guilt evaporates when she draws a gun on Sam. I grab her wrist and yank her arm up. "She's fine! She's fought back Himiko!" She looks at me, and I stare at her with all the fury I'm feeling right now. Giovanna can't beat me in a fair fight one on one and she knows it. Her grip on her gun loosens and I relieve her of the weapon.

"Keep an eye on her. Next time, I _will_ shoot her." She wrenches her arm free and limps into the empty garden.

I watch her, then pull Sam back into my arms. Once I assure myself that she's still okay even though nothing has happened, I let go and move after Giovanna. The garden is a mess of rubble, the fight with Himiko having damaged centuries old carvings and pillars.

The color of red draws my eye, and I kneel to inspect a broken altar. It has the swirling paint we're familiar with, but as I start digging I feel my heart sink into my feet. Whatever artifact it had held is gone now. Those men had to have been Shaw's people, and while we'd been distracted by what was happening to Sam, someone had made off with what we'd come here for.

I feel exhaustion creep into my bones, but I force myself to stand. "We need to get out of here before someone comes to see what all the noise is about."

Giovanna makes a disgusted noise, before she starts back the way we came. I pull Sam along as we hurry after. Her hand is tight in mind and I'm not going to let go until she tells me to. We don't see any more bodies or other evidence of our attackers, and I start to worry about Leda. She is a nice woman and even I had noticed the way she talked about Soraya. Maybe she's Soraya's Sam. That makes me want to check on her even more.

Water is flowing around our feet as we make our way out. I stop Giovanna when we get to the tunnel exit, and then peer around outside. The sky is grey, the clouds rolling and angry and rain is pouring down like some god (or goddess) is very, very angry. That explains the flooding, and it only looks like it's going to get worse.

"I'm totally not doing that," Sam says. I squeeze her hand. We both know better.

Leda is leaning against a wall, arms folded as she tries to shield herself from the rain. I don't see anyone else so I crawl out and whisper her name. The woman jumps two feet into the air and she thwaps me in the shoulder. "I don't know what is going on but I'm glad you're all right. They're rushing everyone out because of the flooding."

"Lets go then." I want to put distance between myself and this place, and the memory of Sam's body jerking around as Himiko had asserted control. Every time I close my eyes I see it. I hope I can forget her face, sneering and cruel, and the feel of the air being ripped from my lungs. Sam's hand rests on my back and I shake myself out of it.

We run pell mell through the rain, finding the rover in the chaos and climbing in. We're going to lose our deposit from all the mud and water but that doesn't really matter. I throw it into gear, and after a few false starts where the wheels spin, get us moving. It's slow going to get back to the freeway, and several times flood waters nearly wash us away.

"This is bad," Leda says, her face plastered to the window. "I don't know how all those people are going to get some place safe."

Her face becomes illuminated by a blue glow from the front seat. Sam's eyes have that eerie light about them and her markings are bright and blinding. I grab her wrist, hard. "SAM!"

"I've got this."

"Sam we talked about this, you're just going to-"

Her voice crackles as the markings on her spark. I jerk my hand away as I get shocked. Thunder rumbles overhead in time to her words. "_I've got this._ You heard her, right? This is my fault and I don't want to hurt anyone else. Let me do this, Lara. If I can't come back..."

The wind outside picks up, buffeting the truck and making it rock back and forth. The sky starts to clear as the winds push the clouds apart. From the back seat, Giovanna has drawn a gun. I draw my own as she points it at the back of Sam's head. I click the safety off as I sight between Giovanna's eyes. Sam could probably fry us both if she wanted, before either of us can pull the trigger.

It's Leda who breaks the standoff. She puts one hand on Giovanna's wrist, and the other on my own and forces us to lower our weapons. "Let her do this. She has to know that you trust her. If you trust her she'll trust herself."

The Italian snorts. "You didn't see how easily she was possessed."

"She came back, didn't she?" In a single smooth motion the brunette disarms us both and clicks the safeties back into place. I start at her dumbfounded and she gives me a cheeky smile. "Be around a mercenary long enough and you learn some neat tricks."

"Teach me that sometime." Sam startles me and I turn back in my seat to face her again. The glow in her eyes is gone, and while the Sun Queen markings are still on her skin, they're no longer lit up. I pull her hand against my chest.

The sky is clear now, bright blue as far as we can see. The ground is still muddy but flooding is much less of a risk. I peer into Sam's dark eyes. They're clear. I kiss her, then again and I don't care that we're not alone. "_Please_ don't do that again!"

"I'm fine!" She says it and I almost believe her. Giovanna clears her throat from the backseat, so I get us moving again. Sam's hand finds it's way to my knee and I hold it in a death grip.

The silence is unbearable. So much hangs in the air. "What was different this time?"

"Back in the ruins I was hit in the head. Since I wasn't...consciously fighting her she kinda just took over. But in regaining control I learned a few things about her and how she works, right?" I haven't let go of her hand but she's using her other hand to gesture as she speaks. "And I realized that it was still raining. The storm was still going on even though I'm back in charge of my own head."

Sam pokes herself in the forehead. "Sooooo I gambled that I could make the storm go away without her taking over and oh my god is she pissed."

God, I wish Sam wouldn't gamble with her soul like that. She's called me her soul mate before and while I once said it back, it's not something I think about much. The concept scares the shit out of me. What happens if I lose her? Not just her life, but if her soul is destroyed, where does that leave me. I set my jaw and stare straight ahead before the prickling behind my eyes can become something embarrassing. I don't even have it in me to yell at her right now.

She turns her hand around in my grip and our fingers lock together. "I'm sorry… I know I promised I wouldn't tap into it, but if people are going to be hurt I can't just...do nothing."

I can't promise that we'll avoid situations where she might be forced to tap into it and I can't think of a way to keep her out of direct danger. I don't entirely buy her explanation and it only makes me want to try harder to find a way to pull out whatever tendrils of Himiko that are still inside my wife.

When I glance down at our hands, both of our knuckles are white and my hand aches, but Sam doesn't let go of me. I wouldn't let her even if she tried.


End file.
